Weekend Humor: Whither NATO?

A bit more high-minded than our normal humor, this weekend's riff is from Small Wars Journal and is a series of re-phrasings of a famous quote about NATO...

The first NATO Secretary General, Lord Ismay, stated the organization's goal was "to keep the Russians out, the Americans in, and the Germans down".

A series of rephrasings of this famous quote follows:

The purpose of NATO is to keep the West in, the Russians out, and the isolationists (especially in Europe) down. (John Hulsman, HCSS)

Today; NATO’s purpose is to keep the Americans in charge, the Europeans compliant, and the Brussels bureaucracy busy. (Stephen Walt, Harvard University)

The purpose of NATO is to attract the Russians Westward away from reactionary Slavophile tendencies; to keep the Americans in by helping them to manage the global challenges that they share with Europe; and to provide the security blanket that allows Germany and others to continue the integration that has made Europe an island of peace.” (Joseph Nye, Harvard University)

To keep America engaged, the French inside, and Europe together. (Michael Cox, LSE)

NATO’s purpose has become one locking in the security and durability of the West while bringing Russia in from the cold. (Charles Kupchan, Georgetown University)

NATO’s present function is to keep the European Union weak, European welfare states strong, and the U.S. defense budget large. (Barry Posen, MIT)

NATO’s purpose has become one of sustaining pretense. Thanks to NATO, the Americans pretend to have allies, Europe pretends to contribute to global security, and the Russians pretend to have an external enemy. (Andrew Bacevich, Boston University)

Today, NATO’s purpose is to keep the Americans engaged, Europe in the lead, and Russia as a constructive partner. (Sean Kay, Ohio State University)

Keep the U.S. in, Mullah Omar out, Germany engaged, and Russia on a leash. (Daniel Korski, ECFR)

By: Chuckles