22 May 2010

Danger Room: DoD "Action" Figures

On the heels of computer science Barbie, Danger Room is suggesting other DoD action figures.

That got us to thinking: What the nation needs is more action figures to get children interested in promising careers within the Pentagon.

How about “Defense Acquisition Executive Barbie,” for starters? This doll would feature a rugged pantsuit, holstered BlackBerry, plus a bound and printed copy of the Future Years Defense Progam Structure handbook.

Or “TDY Barbie”? The life of the Department of Defense civilian can be exciting, especially when you are collecting an extra pay differential and per diem. It comes with a pair of exercise shorts, designer lanyard for Barbie’s CAC card and a souvenir t-shirt from Balad Air Force Base (”It’s always happy hour at Mortaritaville!”).

Then there’s “PowerPoint Barbie.” She has mastered the “Afghanistan Stability/COIN Dynamics” slide, and she is armed with a devastatingly accurate laser pointer.

Of course, let’s not forget role models for boys. “Paperpusher Ken” comes with his own ergonomic office chair. Note: The “send” button on his plastic desktop computer does not work, and if you remove him from his chair, he turns into “Whistleblower Ken.”

And what young child wouldn’t want to have “Public Affairs Officer Ken” doll? That silly G.I. Joe may have kung-fu grip, but Public Affairs Officer Ken has a set of ground rules for you to sign. And he wants you to know that this post is a Good News Story for the Department.

By: Brant

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